- Dance. - Dance, come on.
Lindsey!
Lindsey.
Lindsey! Lindsey! Lindsey!
Looking back over my life,
I can't believe everything that has happened to me.
I'm a very different person than I was,
and it's not because I woke up one morning
and it changed.
I know what it feels like to be afraid.
I know what it feels like to not believe in myself.
I know what it feels like to look in the mirror
and hate everything you see.
I've fallen multiple times as I've been on this journey.
Moments like this, I just try to stop feeling
because I'm too scared.
All my trials really helped me prepare myself
to become more brave.
Every time you get up a little bit stronger.
This is who I am right now.
- Girl: We love you! - Yeah!
♪ Don't let this feeling
♪ Don't let this feeling fade ♪
♪ Turn it up let me hear you live ♪
♪ Don't let this feeling
♪ Don't let this feeling fade ♪
♪ One life, one love
♪ Don't let this feeling
♪ Don't let this feeling fade ♪
♪ Turn it up let me hear you live ♪
♪ Don't let this feeling
♪ Don't let this feeling fade ♪
♪ One life, one love.
You got a slow clap.
Erich, put your hands in the air.
- Look excited. - Whoo.
Yeah, thank you, Chad. Yeah.
Whoo.
♪ Some
♪ Somebody shine a light
Okay.
♪ Somebody make me feel alive ♪
♪ And shatter me
Can you put some reverb and a tiny bit of delay on it?
♪ Make
Just cover it up a little bit, you know?
I'm not a singer.
The very first day of the tour will be on my 30th birthday.
Whoo.
Turning 30 does make you evaluate
where you've been in your life.
My career has taken me in so many unexpected directions.
Like, how can, you know, this crazy dancing violin thing
that no one's gonna like, how does that happen?
Yay.
The thought of turning 30 has mostly made me think
about who I want to be in the future.
Lindsey is the most hands-on artist you'll ever see.
- From the live show... - Walk it back.
- The choreography... - Bum, bum, turn.
- The videos... - Might just cheat it a little bit.
I was a little behind.
Du, du, du, ba, da, da, one.
- Lindsey does do it all. - Are you ready to go?
Let's do it.
Ha ha! Yeah, I think this is good if,
during their thing if it just kind of sleeky...
- If it's dark, yeah. - Sleekly come out.
Yeah, they can definitely get up there and do their thing.
There's so much going on in this new tour.
White is not matching at all.
She's the creative everything behind it, too.
So there's just stress there to begin with.
Ahh! I'm gonna...
White doesn't glow every well under blacklight.
It has to have some pigment to it.
It's good enough. Look, I fixed my costume.
- Yeah. Is that gaffe tape? - Did you see it before?
How'd you do that? Is it really?
Just stand back, Bertie, please. It'll look great.
The whole concept of this Brave Enough tour
is about the courage to feel, to feel everything.
You know, I wrote the album very much inspired
by the passing of, you know, my best friend
and that extreme loss and learning to reopen again.
You know, we can't block ourselves from emotions.
If you numb the bad, then you'll numb the good.
Who's here for me? Oh, Drew's here for me.
We've all had moments where we've worried about her,
especially on this tour with the stress
and this heartache and this loss.
But she's still, like, that spritely, like,
"Hey, guys, what's going on? How you doing?"
Look at the back. I just made it so pretty.
Look at you. You should, you know, be a costumer.
You know what? In my next life, that's what I'm gonna do.
Today is the first show.
My mom talked to me yesterday,
and she was devastated that she couldn't be here today.
She's been at almost every first show.
They can't leave Arizona because of my dad's health.
All right, let's do this.
Life got a lot harder this year.
And I am so nervous to go up there
and play these songs that stir up grief.
I hope I can get through them.
The show starts with a song called "The Phoenix,"
using the phoenix, the mythical bird,
as a symbol of rising from the ashes,
going through cycles of being at the top
and then falling down.
Life is about picking yourself up over and over again.
And that basically is the story of my entire life.
I'm Diane Stirling, and I'm Lindsey Stirling's mother.
I've been at her first show
in the last two tours,
and I really wanted to be here for this one.
I was so surprised, and, um, made me start to cry.
My mom means so much to me,
and she's always taking care of me.
Oh, this is one of your green juices.
Thanks, yeah. That Mom makes.
This is what you made Dad drink all the time.
It is, yeah.
I want her to know that even though there's tough things
going on in our lives and our family
that, um, she still matters.
Oh, I'm so glad you were surprised.
These milestones are important to her entire family,
and her father would be here if he could.
He can't.
Diane: But her father has cancer
and is going through the battle of his life.
Oh, look at that smile. That's the smile I love.
A little less than a year ago,
my dad was diagnosed with cancer.
He's been going through chemo treatment.
My dad has played a huge role
in little bits and pieces of all the details
that make up who I am.
His signature is in everything I do.
How you doing, Papa?
Pop's fine.
You know, he wouldn't just say, "You can do this"
and then send me on my way.
He'd say, "You can do this,
and I'm gonna do everything I can to help you."
Father: Keep at it, Linds. Come on. You can do this.
Thing is, he didn't just do this with me.
He did this with his students.
He taught religious studies to teenagers.
He had thousands of students
that he taught through the years.
Everybody else got chocolate, I got pumpkin seeds.
They're incredibly nutritious.
And delicious. Right, Dad?
Mm. I'll say so. Nutritious.
My parents, they're just...
I wouldn't be here today where I'm at
if they hadn't just helped me along
every step of the way.
- One more surprise... - ♪ Happy birthday to you...
Mostly, I'm proud of the person that she is,
how she has stuck to her values
and stayed true to who she is.
Thank you, guys.
She's just a bundle of light.
Ever since she was a little tiny thing,
just a bundle of light.
I was six years old when I first picked up
my first violin.
My parents, they loved classical music.
That was the majority of what I was exposed to
in terms of music as a kid.
That's kind of what I thought it was to be a star.
I would see the violinists
and that they always got the solos.
You know, they seemed to be the rock star of the orchestra,
so in my mind as a six-year-old,
I was like, "I gotta get my hands
on one of those wooden things.
That's how I become a star."
I begged my parents for two things:
violin lessons, and I begged for dance lessons.
They were able to scrape up enough money for one.
I've always loved dance, but I chose the violin.
I was in a pageant-style competition.
It was called Junior Miss.
And there was a lot of violinists in this competition,
and I remember thinking,
"If I do something really different..."
It was the first time I ever danced
while playing the violin.
That was the moment I fell in love with performing.
It was unlike any reaction
I'd ever had from an audience.
I'd had, like, approval,
and I'd impressed people before,
but I had never felt like I had entertained
until that moment, and it was this addictive feeling.
I thought, "I have to figure out
how to make this my life."
Musically, I was starting to write music.
I was starting to dabble in it.
I was realizing that, you know, I wanted to do music,
but didn't have any idea how.
I was in college trying to discover
what I want to do with my life.
Classes were overwhelming.
I felt like my life was out of control.
I just started to cling to food
and become obsessive about it.
It's all I thought about.
I remember going to parties,
and all you see is the food tray.
And then you're like, "Who's the skinniest girl in the room?
Is it me?"
You know, I'd go on dates,
but all I could think about was panicking
when I realized they were taking me to a pizza spot
and, like, thinking, "How can I avoid eating the pizza?"
Feeling like I could control my weight
seemed very empowering to me.
Even though you think this is giving you a sense of control,
there starts to be this inner dialogue
that is actually controlling you,
telling you that you're worthless.
I didn't really care about my passion.
I wasn't playing the violin anymore.
My mom kept saying, "I think we need to figure something out.
I think something's wrong."
And one day, finally, it clicked,
and I realized, "I think I'm anorexic."
"Shatter Me" used the ballerina in a music box
to be a metaphor for me being, you know,
stuck in an eating disorder
and feeling like I couldn't break free.
♪ Somebody shine a light
♪ I'm frozen by the fear in me ♪
♪ Somebody make me feel all right ♪
♪ And shatter me
♪ If only the clockwork could speak ♪
♪ I wouldn't be so alone
♪ We'd burn every magnet and spring ♪
♪ And spiral into the unknown ♪
♪ Somebody shine a light
♪ I'm frozen by the fear in me ♪
♪ Somebody make me feel alive
♪ And shatter me
♪ So cut me from the line
♪ Dizzy spinning endlessly
♪ Somebody make me feel alive ♪
♪ And shatter me
♪ Shatter me
♪ If I break the glass then I'll have to fly ♪
♪ There's no one to catch me
♪ If I take a dive
♪ I'm scared of change and the days stay the same ♪
♪ The world is spinning but only in vain ♪
♪ If I break the glass then I'll have to fly ♪
♪ There's no one to catch me if I take a dive ♪
♪ I'm scared of change and the days stay the same ♪
♪ The world is spinning but only in vain ♪
It was one thing to change my eating habits,
but it was a completely different process
to try to change my automatic thoughts.
Like, these voices in my head that would look in the mirror
and say, "You're ugly."
I would stop and I would say out loud, like,
"You're beautiful."
♪ Somebody shine a light
♪ I'm frozen by the fear in me ♪
♪ Somebody make me feel alive ♪
♪ And shatter me
♪ So cut me from the line
♪ Dizzy spinning endlessly
♪ Somebody make me feel alive
♪ And shatter me
♪ Shatter me
♪ Somebody make me feel alive ♪
♪ And shatter me
In the road of recovery,
I went on a search to find myself.
Then I started to write music again,
and, uh, I would never go back.
How you doing?
Good to see you too.
They sensed the energy.
Okay, let's do this.
Good morning.
We're backstage at the Dolby theater.
Doughnuts.
We've done the show over 30 times on this tour,
but the Dolby theater,
it's one of the biggest shows of my career,
and how lucky am I that I get to be here?
Whoo!
Do you know if, uh, the dancers are awake?
- Uh-huh. - Yeah?
They're in their room there.
- Oh, really? - At least a couple of them.
Must be a special day.
Being here at the Dolby theater,
it's, you know, the biggest show of the tour.
I mean, this is where they hold the Academy Awards.
Wow, I haven't come out here yet.
This is so... Wow, this is so beautiful.
Holy cow.
Looking up at those empty seats
and just being like, "These are all going to be full
of ravenous, crazy fans,
it literally gives me goose bumps
and just makes me giddy with excitement.
Little spaceships all, like, you know,
like Star Wars pods.
"Emperor! We have a request."
It's the LA show.
The LA show always brings extra pressure
because all the industry folks come out.
This is your chance to be like,
"I deserve to be on this stage," you know.
Impress everyone.
- Are you ready in five? - Uh, sorry.
I'm just admiring my glory.
Just, uh, running late.
Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.
It's all good.
- Bye! - Bye.
LA just makes you nervous, you know,
'cause, like, all your friends are coming.
Yeah, up in... I kept having nightmares
for the last, like, week.
There was a tornado coming in one,
and I was stuck in this car that wouldn't drive.
Like, that kind of nightmare.
Wake up in a panic?
And I wake up in, like, a panic.
I'm nervous, but I'm excited.
It's crazy to be playing at such an amazing,
historic venue,
especially when you think about
how, you know, my career really started.
After college, I had found my passion again
and I wasn't about to give it up.
I was starting to dabble
in this new style of playing the violin and dancing.
I was doing covers.
I joined a country band,
and it was the first time I was hired
as a professional musician.
I actually bought a book that was
"How to Make It in the Music Industry,"
and it became something that I was obsessed with.
The more I tried, the more it started to sound impossible,
because agents and management and record labels
all just kept saying to me,
"It's really interesting,
but, you know, you just don't fit in the box."
I just kept knocking on door after door after door,
and they just kept closing in my face.
And then finally I had my moment.
The energy in here tonight is on fire.
And here are three words
you don't often hear in the same sentence.
Hip-hop violinist.
But that's exactly what our next act is.
She's Lindsey Stirling.
I felt so inspired to go on that show.
They tell you that this is your make or break.
Like, this is your moment for you to have your shot.
- I'm gonna say yes. - You're going to Hollywood.
When I made it to the quarterfinals,
like, in my mind, that meant that I was probably gonna win.
Good seeing you.
One problem. The violin.
You end up missing loads of notes,
and there were times when it sounded to me
like a bunch of rats being strangled.
Seriously. That bad.
At that moment, I thought what they said was God's word.
Like, "I don't have what it takes.
You're right. I did sound terrible."
I ran backstage, and I just found the only place
I could be alone, which was the bathroom.
You know, that's the only place the cameras wouldn't find me,
and I just sat on the floor and I sobbed for hours
until the cleaning staff came in,
and they were like, "Oh, we didn't know anybody was still here."
Like, "Hon, we're closed up for the night."
Like, "You gotta go home."
I don't think what you're doing right now
is enough to fill a theater in Vegas.
I remember feeling that night
that I had blown the biggest moment of my life.
Thank you so much, LA!
But I've come, since that moment,
to realize that life is kind,
and it will give you another opportunity.
After "America's Got Talent," it hurt so bad,
but something inside me wasn't ready to give up yet,
and so I started to write,
and I started experimenting with dubstep music.
There was not a lot of EDM producers
living in Provo, Utah,
but I found one guy...
This is Mark OG, everybody.
- How you doing? - Yeah.
He is the best, and he makes me
look super... And sound super good.
I would have to, you know, pay him
before I even started to create a track with him,
because I had this idea
of being a dancing, electronic violinist.
No one's gonna take a risk on that,
so I... you know, every time I could earn enough money,
I would create a new track.
Basically, all my savings went into this project
that I didn't even know if I could do.
We wrote three songs, they'd been sitting on iTunes.
My mom bought them and my grandma bought them,
and that's about it.
Suddenly, I put up this one video on YouTube,
and they started to sell.
I saw the iTunes spike.
I finished my first album when I was 26.
And I was on my first tour, like, a week later.
Everybody wanna introduce yourself to the camera?
I'm Drew, the drummer.
Gavi, the piano guy.
Can't see Gavi the piano guy.
- Piano guy. - Yay.
- Wow, that is amazing. - This is 'cause this guy.
I met Gavi and Drew
two days before my very first ever ticketed show.
Just kinda got them word of mouth, you know.
I'd never met them before,
and here we are rehearsing for my first ever show.
On that first tour, we were doing these tiny, little venues
that were, like, 200 people,
and I was, like, living the dream.
I was like, "I can't believe I'm a rock star."
Like, "I love this."
And I was meeting fans for the first time.
Thanks so much for coming out today.
Ugh. Have you guys had fun at the festival?
- Yeah! - Yeah?
As a band, our relationship grew over time,
and Lindsey and Gavi got very, very close
as far as, like... They just became best friends.
She's being a good team member right now.
My band colors with me.
Don't pretend you're not enjoying this.
Oh, this is awesome.
You're showing your manlihood right now.
Yeah, I'm flexing while I do this, though,
so it's all good.
From the moment I met Gavi,
he made me feel just at ease.
Almost like an older brother.
Gavi and I can never sleep
past, like, 7:00 in the morning,
so we hang out here in the captain's seat.
But it's nice being up here.
We get first glance at the scenery
while everybody else is still asleep.
We would just talk about life
and, you know, and laugh together.
I just took picture by the Christmas tree out there.
- Oh, my gosh. - Christmas came early.
You know, when you have people
that you can sit there and do nothing with
and love every second of it...
Wolf pack. Animal pack.
You know, those are your best friends.
Those are the people that will be with you forever.
For the first 18 months of touring,
every single show sold out.
For nearly a year and a half.
Then it was like, "Oh, well, that 400-seater
sold out really quickly.
Let's go up to the 800-seater."
That one sold out again.
"Okay, let's go up to the 1,200-seater."
We're like, "This is real."
Gavi? Gav...
- What's up? - I was just gonna ask you about this show.
Your thoughts right now.
This is fun.
I've come to the conclusion that you never take for granted
the people that come to see you play.
I think it's very cool people are out here.
We're in the middle of Tokyo
and people are out here to see Lindsey play,
so I'm excited.
I've been begging my booking agent
to bring us to Asia for a while,
and now it's just crazy that here we are.
I was making all these little music videos.
My fan base grew exponentially,
And Drew and Gavi and I
set out to do basically a full world tour.
I've said the wrong city twice.
- Wow. - I'm freezing.
The crazy part. Right there.
You're on an animal. You're on an animal.
Last year, we were actually on tour,
and, um, you know, in the middle of tour
we found out that Gavi had, uh, lymphoma cancer.
Gavi got sick very quickly.
He went home immediately.
Okay, so I'm gonna send this to you.
I think you guys are about to go on right now.
9:30. So I'm gonna be a part. Ready?
This is why...
The doctors were very sure that he would get better.
He did get better. He was cancer-free.
He left the hospital.
We had a welcome home party for him.
I didn't think that that welcome home party
would be the last time that I saw him.
It was the most devastating moment of my life,
realizing that my best friend was just gone.
Before he got sick, Gavi and I started writing a song together
one day during sound check,
and I kept promising him
that we're gonna finish that song that we started.
And it never even occurred to me
that he might not get better.
It just wasn't a possibility in my mind.
So this is Gavi's song.
After Gavi passed away, I just kind of closed up.
I was so almost numb to everything.
But one thing my dad tells me all the time,
he's told me my whole life,
is that you're never alone no matter how alone you feel.
Our loved ones aren't gone after they pass away.
Every time I went in the studio,
I wore something that reminded me of him,
and I would also pray that Gavi would help me write.
It's been really hard.
I remember just being terrified to go on the road
without Gavi.
Being surrounded by that environment
that I knew him the best in,
seeing, you know, the keyboard setup,
and just all these things
stirred up so many memories that were so close.
Just... I couldn't believe they weren't there...
They weren't happening anymore.
And this goes down further to the ground, right?
Uh, actually, I'm not sure.
I haven't looked at the framing of it yet.
Still gotta be lower.
It's about a foot too high.
Grief is a very strange thing.
It comes at you when you least expect it.
It comes in waves.
And it can be triggered by something
that you would never even imagine.
So I'm really upset
because, um, man...
oh, I'm just so disappointed.
I've planned this whole show.
Half of it is built around this idea
of this scrim, and I was told it would look a certain way,
and, um, it's not working,
and I'm just kinda devastated about it.
You know, man, if I was just
a better violinist,
if I could just play better,
I wouldn't have to plan all these stupid tricks and...
visuals and dancing and costumes
to cover up the fact that I'm just mediocre.
I'm at a loss.
So disappointed,
and also right now I'm just,
you know, this is when... you know,
it's moments like this when Gavi would come find me
and he would, you know, he'd give me a big hug
and he'd tell me that everything was gonna be okay.
He was always the first person to come find me
when I'd run off and, you know, be worried,
and now he's not here.
My whole album was written about being brave enough...
Brave enough to feel.
And sometimes I have... This is a dark time,
and at moments like this,
I just stop... I almost just try to stop feeling
because I'm too scared.
I got that one, though.
Yeah, that little rat.
Hi, Luna.
Oh, gosh, I look terrible.
Do you like this shot?
I don't think I ever saw that.
In so many ways, Gavi's a huge part of this tour,
of this album.
I know he's been there with me
not only in the studio, but he loved the stage,
and I know he's there with me.
This one's gonna make you cry.
- It already did. - Really?
Oh, my goodness. Every time.
Think we're all gonna be bawling every day.
I invited his mom to the show,
and I was like, "There's gonna be, like,
a big tribute to Gavi in it."
Gavi's mom is coming to the show tonight,
and it's the first time she's been to a show
since he passed away.
And I actually haven't seen his mom since his service.
I'm hoping that I say the right things
and that it comes out, um, you know,
comes out in a very special way.
At his service, over and over again,
people kept saying that Gavi was so brave...
He was so brave with his heart,
and that struck me, and I thought, "That's so true."
Gavi lived with his whole heart and he was so brave in that way,
something that I had never been brave enough to be,
and so my album is called "Brave Enough."
This tour is the "Brave Enough" tour
and it's all based around this idea
of what I was inspired by Gavi to be,
and it was to live life in a brave enough way.
♪ I remember, I remember those days ♪
♪ Laughing out loud, staying up too late ♪
♪ Staring out the window as I see your face ♪
♪ I remember, I remember those days ♪
♪ I remember those days
♪ We had a little bit of time, but it's never enough ♪
♪ Remember driving all night
♪ We'd been talking 'bout love ♪
♪ Now that you're gone it sure is tough ♪
♪ We had a little bit of time but it's never enough ♪
♪ No, it's never enough
♪ I remember, I remember those days ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ I remember, I remember those days ♪
♪ I remember those days
♪ I remember, I remember those eyes ♪
♪ They saw my heart without any disguise, yeah ♪
♪ And in your arms there's nothing to hide ♪
♪ I remember, I remember those eyes ♪
♪ I remember those eyes
♪ I remember, I remember those days ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ I remember, I remember those days ♪
♪ I remember those days
♪ I remember, I remember those days ♪
♪ I remember, I remember those days, yeah ♪
♪ I remember those days
♪ I remember, I remember those days ♪
Love you.
Love you guys.
♪ I remember those days
- Oh. - I know. I'm gray now.
You look beautiful.
Such a beautiful,
beautiful tribute to him.
I was crying, so I missed...
You know, we have in spirit brought Gavi
around the world with us the last few months.
He's still a part of what we do,
and he'll always be a part of this show.
That makes me feel so good
to know that he's still appearing in people's lives, you know.
Oh, 100%.
Just hearing her talk about Jason
and what, you know, he meant to her was wonderful,
and he was always goofy and silly,
and I think he found a kindred soul in Lindsey,
'cause I think she's like that too,
so they had a wonderful time together.
I hope that you...
felt his spirit there.
Being vulnerable and living with your whole heart
is a lifelong pursuit.
It's not something you learn in a year.
I've been sharing this story of being brave enough,
you know, now every night for 40 shows.
It took me about 20 shows to not sob through that number.
Like, I'm at a good place. It's been kinda therapeutic.
You know, it felt like I hoped it would feel
to be able to see what the show meant to her.
Thank you for being here. You're amazing.
And also it made me realize
that it's so important to me
to continue to share this message.
Oh, I just got a great idea.
Yeah, it's really cool.
Um, I'm actually thinking...
Let me see. Open this up.
The show gets kinda heavy at a certain point,
where I talk about loss, I talk about grief,
talking about how life goes on
and, you know, playing Gavi's song,
and so I wanted to kind of come out of that
into something a little lighter,
and so I decided I would do some magic.
Yeah, so come out with it,
spin it around, and also, like,
you know, when you unveil and I'm in there,
um, you know, you guys do that...
And then quickly open it.
Magic makes things new. It makes things exciting.
It makes people feel like a little kid again
when they're watching it.
WoPerfect.
You know, even though there's all this hard, heavy stuff
that is in everyday life, you know,
there's also magic.
WoCome in.
Hi. I just wanted to say hey...
- Oh! - Hi. How you doing?
What's up? I'm so good. How are you?
Good to see you. Good. Thanks for having us.
ZZ and I wrote "Hold My Heart" together,
so she will be singing that
and performing that live with us.
- How's the tour going? - It's been so good.
- Yeah? - Been a super fun tour.
Like, I love the show,
and I think my favorite number is "Hold My Heart."
- Really? - Yeah, we do, like, a whole magic thing.
- Yes! - People love that song.
Six months ago, uh, went in the studio with Lindsey.
She really knew what she wanted.
You know, for her to want me to bring my style
and my artistry to the collaboration is great.
Can I watch the magic show as it's happening, though?
Oh, like, what we're doing?
How it works?
Yeah, what you guys are doing is so cool.
A magician never reveals her tricks.
I think it's amazing when someone can put their own story
into their music and into their whole show,
and, uh, I think the song is boss.
I really love the song.
♪ I need a hero to save me
♪ I'm not a girl to set free ♪
♪ It's nothing you did to me ♪
♪ I've always been this way
♪ I might be strong
♪ I might be weak
♪ There might be a part of me that I won't let you keep ♪
♪ Been on this road
♪ And come this far
♪ Don't need a man to hold my hand ♪
♪ I just want one to hold my heart ♪
♪ I just want one to hold my ♪
♪ Heart
♪ Hold my
♪ Heart
♪ Don't be afraid to hold this ♪
♪ Even the thorns have roses ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ I know I can stand alone
♪ But I can't love on my own ♪
♪ I might be strong
♪ I might be weak
♪ There might be a part of me that I won't let you keep ♪
♪ Been on this road
♪ And come this far
♪ Don't need a man to hold my hand ♪
♪ I just want one to hold my heart ♪
♪ I just want one to hold my ♪
♪ Heart
♪ Ooh
♪ Oh
♪ Want you to, want you to hold my heart ♪
♪ Want you to, want you to, want you to, want you to ♪
♪ Want you to, want you to hold my heart ♪
♪ I might be strong
♪ I might be weak
♪ There might be a part of me that I won't let you keep ♪
♪ Been on this road
♪ And come this far
♪ Don't need a man to hold my hand ♪
♪ I just want one to hold my heart ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ I just want one to hold my ♪
♪ Heart
♪ Ooh, I just want one to hold my heart ♪
The record's extremely personal for her.
She's learned how to kind of reopen herself
and reopen her heart into actually finding happiness
and not being shut off from the world emotionally.
Thank you so much. How you guys doing?
What about the top balcony? How are you doing up there?
Whew!
It means so much to me
when you get this connection with your audience
and when you can see that they felt it,
they felt all the things that I felt on stage.
Hi, Luna! Hey, nice suit, by the way.
Okay, spin. Spin.
My favorite comment is when people say
they laughed and they cried
and they had fun.
Everyone, give it up for Miss Luna!
I wanted to make sure that it was something
that people walked away from uplifted.
That's really important to me.
I know that every single one of you
has talents, you have passions,
you have things that you're amazing at,
things that you want to share.
But I also know how terrifying
and almost crippling it can be,
the thought of taking something that you love
and putting it out there for other people to judge.
People that succeed fail a lot.
They failed many, many times.
But they know how to rise every time they fall,
and so that's what this next song is about.
It's about shutting out the voice
and having the courage to step into the arena.
Whoo! Yeah!
It was this massive show. Dancers!
- Oh, my God. - Magic!
Magic was the best part!
I'm so happy with how it was received.
As much stress and as much fear went into the show,
it was all so worth it.
Oh, my God!
Just a little bit nervous
because some of my friends were here tonight.
It's almost easier to talk about these things
in front of strangers than it is to, like,
really be raw and vulnerable
in front of people that you care about.
And by the way, the show was absolutely well done.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you for being here.
It's so special to have you all.
This tour has been an example, personally,
of perseverance for me, because as I'm talking about
these experiences of loss,
no one really knows what I'm going through with my dad.
It's stage-four cancer.
It started out as something
that I knew my dad would beat,
but they're really having a hard time treating it.
My mom was just calling to tell me, like,
"We're going to hear news back next week,
but just prepare yourself,
because I don't want you
to get really bad news out of nowhere."
I was just starting to get up
from the wave that just hit me,
so it's really hard to experience this again.
And it's really hard
not to go back into a little shell.
I wasn't expecting that today.
Yeah.
I don't think you could ever be prepared
to be told to prepare yourself.
No, not at all.
Basically, we were told by the doctors
to prepare for good-bye.
I started flying home every day off.
You know, from New York, to Arizona, back to D.C.
I'm just trying to spend as much time as I can.
He's fought such a hard fight,
and in so many ways
I am the woman I am today because of my dad.
- What do you think? - I think it's awesome.
I really attribute this sense of adventure to him.
It's really hard when you see people start to lose hope.
What time is meet and greet?
6 to 7.
Drew: With her father's diagnosis,
obviously there are days where it's extremely difficult
and we just all try and be there for her.
It's been a really, really rough one.
There's just stress there to begin with,
let alone these two massive, major issues in her life.
But she flips a switch, gets up,
wipes the tears off, and just, like,
"Okay, I've got to be Lindsey Stirling.
I can't be... Lindsey Stirling."
- Oh, I'm so ready. - Let's do it!
- Hey, come on in. - Hi!
- Oh, my gosh. - Hello!
Ooh, you're so pretty. I love your hair.
I try to be really optimistic with my fans.
So cool.
You want to be uplifting.
Yeah! Where does one get a stormtrooper helmet?
It's a constant battle to be that kind of person.
Yeah, come over here.
But it doesn't mean I don't have days
when I don't win the fight.
What to do with my life.
And a few days later your album came out
and that song "Don't Let This Feeling Fade" came up.
God, like, I just knew right there that I had something to do.
I'm so glad that you enjoyed it
and that it meant something to you.
- Thank you so much. - Thank you.
Everybody has bad days,
but when bad days are compounded by grief,
it's really hard to feel like I can be everything
I need and want to be for my fans
when you hurt so much inside.
You know, you really saved my life.
I was going through a really dark time and,
um, I was at the brink,
and your music came on
and it just reminded to hang on.
And your music always pulls me through.
Oh, girl. Thank you for sharing that.
That's so beautiful.
A lot of the songs on "Brave Enough"
obviously were written, inspired by,
you know, losing Gavi,
and they kind of gain a whole new depth now
thinking about the fact
that I'm probably going to lose my dad.
"Lost Girls" is about being lost emotionally.
And fighting the urge to go back
into your comfort zone.
It's this really beautiful
symbolic journey of this little ballerina
discovering herself in the forest.
And she almost goes back into her snow globe,
but chooses to stay free.
♪ Lost girls
♪ Lost girls find a way
♪ Lost girls
♪ Lost girls find a way
I can't believe we've now been on tour
for three months.
Tonight is our final show,
in Phoenix, my hometown.
My dad will be at the show.
He is so excited to see it.
My dad has just always been so proud.
I think it's going to be really, really special.
I can't believe it's the last day.
It's insane to me.
WoYeah, I hear you.
This has been an extremely exhausting tour,
not only just physically,
but also have the built-up emotions
about what my family's going through
and worrying about my dad.
- Want me to push him? - Sure, that would be great.
Hi!
- Here's the man himself. - Look who's here.
My name is Stephen J. Stirling
and I am Lindsey's father.
I've come to see the last performance in Phoenix.
What do you warm up to first?
I usually do scales and then I play...
I like to play the song I open with
so I can imagine that I'm doing it.
I'm really excited.
I'm going home with my parents tonight.
I'm loading up in the car
and we're going to go home
and just spend time with my family.
- How you feeling today? - A lot better.
- You look better. - You do.
You look really just awake today and you look great.
There's color in your skin and light in those eyes.
I was dead yesterday because they worked me out too much yesterday.
I know. You know, that was pretty,
pretty intense what you go through.
And today, uh-oh.
So today you didn't have to go to the doctor?
- Nice! Day off. - Are you done?
It's delightful for me
to come to these venues, these experiences.
First concert I went to, it blew me away.
Little girls there that came to see Lindsey.
"Will you sign my violin?"
And then I was standing in front of a guy.
He was a great big burly biker, you know,
with braids down the back of his...
And he's just... Just having a great time.
I've taken a lot of inspiration from just watching Lindsey
and seeing how she's coped
and handled her father's cancer.
In many ways, these trials have brought us together more.
There's always a silver lining.
We stick together.
You need to stop worrying about everybody else...
Well, I will.
Well, of course I'm proud of her.
I'm proud of her for the way she has used her talents
to share with the world the joy
and the brightness that is her life
and her personality.
What Lindsey does is also quite fearless.
With Lindsey, it's more than just the performance
or more than just becoming a rock star.
Lindsey has a statement to make.
She wants someone to walk away having learned something.
I don't think there are words to describe
what a father can feel, that I feel,
that Lindsey's accomplished.
Final ten-minute call for show.
- Last one! - Last pray, last pray.
Father, we're so grateful
that we can all be here together...
There was a lot all happening at once
as I was preparing this album
and preparing this tour,
and I was turning 30,
I had just lost my best friend.
I feel like I've been really brave.
And it's not because I was born that way,
and it's not because it's natural to me,
because it's not.
But it's because Gavi and my dad made me realize
that every time we go through a big trial,
we get a little braver.
- Jesus Christ, amen. - All: Amen.
♪ Don't let this feeling fade ♪
♪ Launch into the sky like a private plane ♪
♪ Hang on, we'll ride this wave ♪
♪ Watch the tide come in a little ♪
♪ Just a little more each day ♪
♪ Don't let this feeling fade ♪
♪ Don't let this feeling
♪ Hang on, we'll ride this wave ♪
♪ Launch into the sky like a private ♪
♪ Fly like a private plane
♪ Don't let this feeling
♪ Don't let this feeling fade ♪
♪ Turn it up, let me hear you live ♪
♪ Don't let this feeling
♪ Don't let this feeling fade ♪
♪ One life, one love
Whoo! Thank you so much, Phoenix!
I want to bring out my whole crew!
♪ Don't let this feeling
♪ Don't let this feeling fade ♪
♪ Turn it up, let me hear you live ♪
♪ Don't let this feeling
♪ Don't let this feeling fade ♪
♪ One life, one love
I didn't have time with Gavi
to say all the things I wanted to say.
I didn't get to say good-bye
or tell him everything I wanted him to know,
or how much I cared.
I think the process of losing Gavi
helped me realize that I wanted things
to be different with my dad.
I knew that this was coming,
and I made changes in my life
so that I would have as little regrets as possible.
What a blessing it was to have some time with my dad.
You're the best puppy in the world.
The best Luners.
I'm finally going back on tour.
It's just hitting me right now.
I'm about to head out on the European run
of the "Brave Enough" tour.
I'm so excited.
- Hi, Lindsey. - Hey, Mommy!
I'm on my way to the airport right now,
but I just wanted to call you to say,
you know, say good-bye before I leave.
Did you take your supplements with you?
I... brought some of them.
Okay. All right, I love you, sweetheart.
- Good-bye. - Love you, too. Bye.
She's such a mom.
Life is not one journey to a destination.
It's a constant fight, it's a constant battle
to stay optimistic,
even if you've been hurt multiple times.
The scars that you carry,
they can either make you hard
or they can make you strong,
make you empathetic and not bitter.
And we all have that choice. It's a climb.
You can rise past your trials. You can be brave.
As I continue to perform,
I know my dad will be there with me,
because he's always been my biggest fan.